Hetalia: 100 Things I Cannot Do At World Meetings

100 Things I Cannot Do At World Meetings

1. I cannot run into the room yelling "Fire!"
2. Unless there really is a fire
3. I cannot discuss yaoi with Japan
4. Or Hungary
5. I cannot come in cosplay
6. Even if Japan says I look cute
7. France will get excited
8. I cannot flirt with America
9. No matter how hot I think he is
10. (Unless I do it after the meeting)
11. I cannot ask Italy to model in a maid dress for me
12. Hungary cannot help me convince him
13. Germany will hit me
14. (Even though he likes the thought of #11)
15. I cannot draw FrUK on my notes
16. Or England's notes
17. But France's are okay
18. Maybe not…
19. I cannot ask Germany if I can borrow his chains, whips, ropes, other various torture devices, etc.
20. I cannot write "I <3 America" all over my notes
21. Or England's
22. Or Japan's
23. Or Russia's
24. Especially not Russia's
25. I cannot talk about "That night with Prussia"
26. I cannot tie Austria up and hide him in the broom closet
27. I cannot yell "Germany is staring at Italy's butt!" at the top of my lungs
28. Even if he is
29. I cannot touch Florida
30. I cannot pretend to be China, aru
31. I cannot tell Romano that he'd look good in a dress
32. Even though Spain agrees
33. I cannot pencil in my eyebrows and talk in a British accent
34. I cannot get Italy drunk
35. I cannot play with Austria's instruments
36. I cannot laugh at how sexual that sounded
37. I cannot put vodka in England's tea
38. He and/or Russia will hit me
39. I cannot sing "Born This Way" on the table with France
40. I cannot sing any Lady Gaga with France
41. I cannot sing any Lady Gaga, period
42. Or Ke$ha
43. Or Katy Perry
44. I cannot write a note saying "I love you, from England" and pass it to France
45. Or America
46. Or Japan
47. Or Italy, as Germany may kill England/me/us
48. I cannot yell "Pastaa~"
49. Italy will get excited
50. I cannot ask Spain if he is incognito
51. I cannot tell Switzerland that he looks like Mello from Death Note
52. But prettier
53. Or give him chocolate
54. I cannot ask Prussia to strip
55. There's a good chance he will
56. There's a better chance France will
57. I cannot play the saxophone
58. I cannot call England "Iggybrows"
59. I cannot ask America if he's related to Ronald Knox
60. I cannot give Finland my Christmas list
61. Unless it's at least November
62. I cannot ask Prussia and Germany if Hidan from Naruto is their brother
63. Or cousin
64. Or secret love child
65. I cannot tell France that I speak French
66. Three years of High School French Class do not count
67. I cannot ask America to take his clothes off
68. Even if I REALLY want him too
69. I cannot laugh a #69
70. I cannot throw things
71. Even at France
72. Unless Germany says I can
73. I cannot call Canada "The Floating White Bear"
74. I cannot ask Japan to say "election"
75. I cannot say China is pretty
76. Even if he is
77. I cannot talk about HetaOni
78. I cannot quote Napoleon Dynamite
79. I cannot laugh like France
80. Or Prussia
81. Or Spain
82. I cannot give Japan pigtails
83. I cannot sit like L from Death Note
84. I cannot ask Germany if he's the Holy Roman Empire
85. I cannot call Latvia "emo"
86. I cannot encourage Sealand
87. I cannot go near Liechtenstein
88. I will "corrupt" her
89. I cannot ask Ukraine her cup size
90. I cannot suggest that England serve breakfast
91. Or lunch
92. Or dinner
93. I cannot wear a mask and say I'm Turkey
94. I cannot ask Turkey to borrow his mask
95. I cannot ask him if he "was the turkey all along"
96. I cannot organize a spontaneous sing-along
97. I cannot pretend to be Ciel Phantomhive
98. I cannot say "in bed" after everything Austria says
99. "In bed" cannot be replaced with "in Prussia's pants"
100. I cannot set Gilbird up with Pierre or Mr. Puffin